Last week’s hiatus by design was originally reserved for the new e-mailing rules. The committee (me) made the call to leave e-mail out of this, because it is not the center of our interactions like it was pre-facebook, instagram and all the other 2014 means of communication. I hereby predict the near death of email within 10 years. It will all but be replaced and mostly reserved for paying bills and business related stuff. Mark my word. You heard it here. First? We left e-mail rules out, so this here post is to give you my take on Instagram etiquette. Here they are:
1. One or two at a time–A lot of people get to experience life’s precious moments and display them on the internet. Instagram can capture these moments with one or two pictures or a short video, but eight pictures in a row are bound to include at least two duplicates and flood our feeds. I’m sure your two (2) pictures or a video at a time will procure as many likes as you can handle. Less is almost always more in life and on Instagram.
2. Baby photos–You know your baby is the cutest thing to ever grace social media or planet Earth. I know your baby is the cutest thing to ever grace social media or planet Earth. And you know that I know your baby is the cutest thing to ever grace social media or planet Earth. This being said, discretion can be useful when posting pictures of your baby. This rule is the first cousin of Rule #1. Your baby’s first steps are important and should be viewable to your closest friends, but steps 4-49 being left out of Insta is not a travesty. Take your time posting those pictures. He or she will walk again.
3. Food–People take overhead pictures of their uneaten food and put it on Instagram. I don’t but love and respect some people who do. Some meals at great restaurants deserve publicity. Some meals with old friends do too, but the every plate of sustenance is often better left out. We can see it, but you are the only one who can taste it. Post accordingly.
4. Conversation within comments–Comments under pictures about the pictures are necessary and usually clever. Some pictures call for the acknowledgement of a comment. Some people (parents mostly) make their months plans with other Instagrammers via picture comments. This is fine if you don’t mind people knowing even more than they already do about you in this day and age. Texting or calling for Friday night plans or long vacation tales is better 99% of the time. Actually its better 100% of the time.
5. Hashtag length–Hashtags may just replace our sentences in 50 years. Until then, feel free to write it out. Saying #holycraplookathowdrunkwegotthenhadlatenightatjeffspoolhouse can just as easily be separated in regular English.
6. Selfies say a lot–Contrary to what you may think, I don’t mind the occasional selfie. The everyday selfie gets repetitive and should be reserved for special occasions. Unless you are a Supermodel or at the Oscars, the scene behind is far more enthralling than your face from six inches. 7. Use filters a lot–God invented Instagram to enhance pictures taken by amateur photographers. Use the filters. They never get old and are awesome. They make great pictures better.
8. Videos are great–Use this function as much as it makes sense. You can reduce your Instagram footprint by recording a video instead of 9 still shots in a row.
9. Take Cool pics–Its ok to lay on the ground at a concert to capture the show from the best vantage point. In fact, we would all rather see your attempt at Quentin Taratino-esque cinematography. Give different creative angles a shot. A+ for effort and your result will usually be cooler than the eye level photo.
10. Have a sense of humor–I read an article featuring an interview with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson a long time ago. I don’t recall every part of it, but one nugget of sage wisdom took stuck with me. You can be tough, or funny, but its rare to be both. The wise choice is being funny. Instagram is no exception. Have a sense of humor about your posts, other people’s comments and everything else. You are cool and tough enough no matter what. So now we covered Instagram. Please leave your own rules below. Would love for you to be my first:-)